Strange Vibrators

What it is: An "insertable micro camera for internal viewing action with powerful, multi-speed vibrating bullet...Easily plugs into your television or records on your VCR."

What it does: Lets you view and record on tape the innermost passages of your lover. Unfortunately, the camera is black-and-white only, so you won't see those mucous membranes in full-chromatic glory.

Who uses it: Medical fetishists, home-movie freaks.

Other uses: Security camera, nanny-cam, home colonoscopy kit.

What it is: A vibrator that plugs into your car's cigarette lighter.

What it does: Keeps you awake on those long morning commutes or lonely all-night truck hauls.

Who uses it: That woman in the Jetta in the next lane who's also putting on makeup and/or talking on her cell phone.

Other uses: If you get pulled over, it may distract the cops from any illegal drugs, open containers, or unregistered handguns in the car.

What it is: A "vibrating 4-inch probe with built-in periscope light and viewing window."

What it does: Gives you a gynecologist's view of your girlfriend. Or a proctologist's view of your boyfriend.

Who uses it: Butt pirates, secret agent wannabes.

Other uses: Peep around corners, spy on the neighbors.

What it is:  A vibrating pump with a red rubber bulb that you attach to your tit. Looks like a breast milk pump. A sex toy especially for MILFs?

What it does: Gives you a tit hickey while you fill up a bottle for Junior's next feeding.

Who uses it: Kinky lactating moms.

Other uses: Attach the bright red rubber bulb to your face for a vibrating clown nose.

What it is: An "oral vibrator" that you strap onto your tongue. Make sure you don't swallow it accidentally.

What it does: Supposed to enhance oral sex by turning your whole tongue into a vibrator. Makes you stutter when you talk and shakes your fillings loose.

Who uses it: Guys who are too lazy to learn how to do cunnilingus.

Other uses: Makes you look like you have a fashionable tongue piercing, without the pain.

Shoe me wacky masturbators...